Probably slightly illegal to post this

Getting ready to dirty dash as little indians!

Last night I watched the movie Chocolat....okay so it's a little melodramatic, probably shown in sociology classes, but the little moral at the end....I loved it.

This woman's whole way of living, which is what a priest comments at the end is... "It is not about the bad things that we avoid, but the good things that we embrace"

Another good little thought....I watched a Mormon message last night called What is Most Important. President Monson said, the most important things in life usually includes the people that we love. Love that!

So this week was a little exhausting

4 shifts

a little case of food poisoning from some avocados gone bad, shouldn't have cooked with them

Little sleep

Birthday parties

And....the DIRTY DASH!

The dirty dash is a 10k up Soldier Hollow by Midway. It was so stinking hilarious!

Obstacles to conquer:

A mud hill

hay bails to jump over

tubes to crawl through

mud walls to jump over

a quarter mile stretch through Deer Creek swamp land

Trenches of mud to trudge through

And....the world's longest waterslide

And the ending mud pit

Loved the run! We were cowboys and indians! For the last half quarter mile we all held hands to run into the mud pit, help each other climb out, and then held hands into the finish line...of course while singing Chariots of Fire!

I went to the temple this morning and I just love the Spirit that is there. When I am baptized for each person, I always love to think about what it is going to be like when I get to see that person in heaven. The temple seems to be the one special place where my body and soul are in a state of complete peace. Such an amazing gift to have the temple so close!

*Blessings*

Today at work Tim brought all of us who are running the Dirty Dash treats to wish us good luck!

And we were all introduced to the greatest discovery....Lindt chili dark chocolate. How does it work? Well, it starts out dark and chocolately....once the chocolate is all but dissolved in your mouth there is a wowza! Chili kickback! Mmmm it's tasty.

I had a really great experience today....my mind has been buzzing around about some things. Worries, fears. I just can't seem to feel at peace about certain things. Last night I had a good cry and felt prompted I should ask one of my dear friends for a priesthood blessing. I always feel a little sheepish asking for blessings. In some ways, it is a little pride swallowing to ask for a blessing because I know I'm in a situation where I really can't do it on my own. And I am Miss Independent. I love doing things on my own. But nonetheless I felt I should ask for one.

My friend is amazing....he gave me an amazing blessing that I would be calm, in a way that I could feel the Spirit. Today at work I just felt that no matter what went wrong at the hospital, nothing could shake me. I felt so much patience and love for my patients.....even the frequent flyers that sometimes drive me NUTS.

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I think how grateful I am that I have the knowledge I do. I have become SO much more grateful for what I know since I have started working in the hospital. Sometimes a day in the ER can be seem like all hell has converged on one place....one patient has tried to commit suicide, another is wanting to get high off of drugs, another is getting a medical clearance before going to jail, another patient has just overdosed for the 5th time that month, another patient has just been physically abused, another is suffering from severe depression. Day after day of this can get a little overwhelming. I've had days where I have thought, there is absolutely no hope for the world. The addictions in this world are so powerful and so binding, to that person there seems no way out. Many people are in such a vicious cycle of living day after day being chained by these addictions....it is no life at all. Satan is smart, the temptations are so subtle, but soon they become a swift, slippery slope and the return to the straight and narrow is so difficult. I've been angry some shifts....at Satan for his temptations, at God for allowing human suffering, at patients and people for being so stupid. But as I've worked through trying to understand what the point to all of it is, I keep coming back to how grateful I am to know the gospel and how much I wish many of my patients could understand what I do. Now more than ever, I am gaining a more sure testimony that Christ lives and that He does understand the suffering of His children, and that no matter how bleak it seems, there is always hope to change through the atonement. I know I can't help these people with the short time I have every day with them to change their lives completely, but I can at least try to be Christ-like and show little kindnesses....and if everyone who had the knowledge of the gospel did that, that encountered others that are struggling...who is to say it wouldn't be huge in helping them change!

Sometimes in my own life, I have moments where I get so scared and paralyzed by fear that even though things are really good in life right now....who is to say tomorrow my life won't drastically change?! I worry sometimes about something happening to my family or that I will lose my job or I won't have enough money to live or the good in my life will completely disappear. But then I feel this amazing power in knowing that there will NEVER be a time in my life where all is irreversibly lost. I will never lose my family because we are sealed in the temple together to have each other forever. I may be poor and not have much but the Lord will take care of me. The sun will always come up every day. The seasons will always change and be beautiful. Sunday and church will come EVERY week. And I always have my Book of Mormon and my testimony. These are things that can never be taken from me. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for these blessings. I am so thankful that my Savior knows me personally and loves me as His daughter.

And another great experience today.....

I got a little case of food poisoning overnight....I've been drinking the pepto since 4am this morning. My stomach has been cramping sooo bad. But I'm actually really grateful for the experience because it helps me remember and realize the pain my patients are in....I'm pretty sure I was much swifter at dishing out the pain medications today to my peeps with abdominal pain:).

And did you know? Pepto shows up on a CT scan. Who would've thunk?!

Its tuck time!

Relatively no patients....this is what became of our work shift! No words!

The Mama

I get to see the Mama Johnson today for a dinner get together. Hands down this is the single greatest woman that has ever lived. I continually aspire to be who and what she is, and the day that I ever become even half of who she is....it will be a day of miracles.

The mama has been laying down quite the legacy....and continues

Growing up she greeted us every morning with smiles and hugs and a big, "GOOD MORNING, ----inserted name of child."

I remember one Valentine's Day when I was in high school the Mama sent to school a massive, at least 3 foot large heart balloon attached to chocolate and goodies.

I would get letters sometimes in my bathroom when I was having a hard time

Always encouraging.....the mama has never lost faith in any of us, she is a BELIEVER!

The mama is the embodiment of what the prophets counsel us to be...simple and true.

She is true to the beat of her own drum.

When the mama is super excited she whoops and hollers and jumps up and down

The mama has the greatest, most contagious laugh....the best memories are of us chitlins gathered for family prayer and the mama is the one who busts a gut over something, which kills any hopes of reverence, the padre trying to regain order, the mama still busting a gut.

When I have gone to Stampin Up conventions with the mama, I LOVE how the 300+ women in her downline flock around her, AMY, AMY, We LOVE you!!! I love her too

The mama has an amazing ability to recognize the difficulties and hard times that come to everyone in life, but she remains 100% optimistic about the future.

The mama is always trying to learn something new, new gospel study, new recipes, new ways to cope with present challenges, new skin creams, new toenail polish, new garden ideas, new scrapbooking ideas....this woman is continually in a mad pursuit of discovery

Just recently I had friends over for a weekend get together....the mama set up 'her hotel' complete with beds for everyone, wash clothes perfectly folded onto the beds, and miniature soap and shampoo bottles for everyone.

The mama will take time out of her busy schedule to talk to us when we are home, make sure we are doing okay

The mama has fiery opinions, and she will stick to the opinions to the grave....incredible integrity, completely unswayable by others on things she knows to be right

The mama is an energizer bunny....her day start every morning at 7-8, hard core exercise for an hour, a healthy breakfast, kiddies to school, work for Stampin Up, emails, phone calls, errands, bills to pay, scrapbooking, healthy lunch, more work, gardening, visiting with friends and neighbors, and then a dinner for the kiddies return from school, encouraging kiddies on homework and piano and sports, visiting with family, scripture time, prayer, bed. AMAZING!

The mama is incredibly patient....she broke her nose about 2 years ago which has included a couple surgeries, and still it gives her troubles, but she hardly ever complains

The mama loves adventure....trips to Taiwan, Lake Powell, DC

She loves traditions....holiday decorations, father's blessings before school, love notes to eachother at Christmastime, soup in the fall, family piano concerts on Sundays, lunch dates when we are together

She loves mozzarella, basil, tomato paninis

The mama is a firm advocate of seizing opportunities, continuing education

She loves the family dog Ned....maybe more than us chitlins

For our birthdays we always get a DELICIOUS home cooked meal

Christmas morning....always a trail of double bubble gum from our bedrooms to the Christmas tree

Dance parties with the mama

Her favorite pump up song...."Ain't no other man" by Christina Aguilera

The fact that she is a foot and a half shorter than the padre and she needs her kissing chair to reach his face

I LOVE the mama! I wished everyone in the world was as lucky as I am to have a mama like I do

Man from Snowy River

Just watched Man from Snowy River

My favorite line from the movie...Jim and Rosemary are on a horse on top of a mountain looking out across the vast mountain range....

Jim says to Rosemary, "You gotta treat these mountains like a high-spirited horse, can't take them for granted."

Rosemary says in reply, "You gotta treat people the same."

I LOVE that! Made me think about the people in my life that I love and that it is sooo true, I can never take them for granted.

The Power of Love!

Guess who is coming back into P-town in 3 short months??!!!

My dear, dear friend Katie POWERS thats who!!!!!!!!!

Today's mission:

Find a way to convince my management company to let Katie sign onto a contract in my apartment 3 months before she will actually be living here, without paying for those 3 months. Could be impossible.

Be proxy to Katie to enroll her back into nursing school

Katie, come back! The French have had you long enough.

Today I was reminded of a funny that happened to Katie and I while we were in Taiwan so I thought I would write about it because this is a story for the ages.....

So we worked for 2 months in the ICU at the Chi Mei hospital in downtown Tainan. It was a great experience and we got to know a lot of the nurses pretty well...at least as much as broken Chingrish communication would allow. So while we were there, Nurses' Day was being celebrated which is an international holiday. The nurses told us that they have a presentation every year in honor of nurses and they wanted us to present something that would represent BYU. So the 8 of us that were there decided we would sing Lord, I would Follow Thee....the BYU Nursing School theme. We practiced for a couple weeks and felt ready when Nurses' Day arrived.

We enter this auditorium that has seated about 500 nurses from Chi Mei. The front row is seating the CEO of the hospital, the directors of Chi Mei, and the Chi Mei doctors. The program begins and the nursing director announces the line up for the evening.....the ICU nurses' presentation, BYU's presentation, a presentation from the directors, some skits....all I really listened to was when we would be going on stage.

We pass out our music while we wait for the ICU nurses to go on stage.....all of a sudden the lights go out. And this music comes blasting through the speakers...

Jolin Tsai, Butterfly...it's Chinese hip hop.

And then...the ICU nurses come onto stage in nothing but pink lingerie. The whole front row goes nuts. What is going on??? For the next 5 minutes we have to witness a pole dancing routine.....and in the back of our minds is the thought that we are going to be following this act with Lord, I would Follow Thee.

The madness finally comes to an end.

I look at our nursing professor....Jim, I'm not going up there, I'm NOT going up there. I look at Katie....I'm not going up there. She agrees.

Jim makes it very clear we are still singing.

So we sing Lord, I would Follow Thee

After the program was over the Chi Mei nursing director came up to us and said, "Next year, try to come up with a program a LITTLE more exciting." If that implies BYU nursing students shedding a little extra clothing to keep people on their toes, they will be in search of another university to bring to their hospital:)

I miss Taiwan, though. Writing this makes me miss the country.

My ultimate dream.....learn Chinese and go back to Taiwan or even China for a few years. I need Rosetta!

The flow

This is how bored I am in a hotel room...while I wait anxiously for Jenni to come back to the hotel room so we can chat and hang out....I'm writing two blogposts in one day.

Greg Laswell....he is my new favorite artist....even though he has been around for 2 years. But Jenni and I were listening to him in the car today as we lazily drove through the small towns of Rochester and Oakville, Washington. Love him, love him. I LOVE his song called Comes and Goes

This is for the ones who stand

For the ones who try again

For the ones who need a hand

For the ones who think they can

It comes and goes in waves

I am only let to wonder why

It comes and goes in waves

I am only let to wonder why

This song speaks to me. Well, actually, back up. The first time I heard this song it reminded me of some Amish man on his farm in Pennsylvania. No idea why. But I love the words in the chorus. I've always wondered why life ebbs and flows. Sometimes life is so good. Some moments I feel so at peace and happy. And then other times life can just stink. Some days in the hospital I am in the flow.....one time I looked up the word 'flow' in wikipedia. It's interesting.

Flow: the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task.

So I've been thinking about times when I feel the flow.....and the ebb....well thats just the annoying stuff I think has to be experienced to feel the flow!

1. When I'm with my family having a good laugh or a good chat around the dinner table

2. When I'm reading the scriptures and the book is coming to life

3. When I'm reading Harry Potter....yes unfortunately this comes right behind reading the scriptures....judgment may be passed:)

4. When I'm on a long run in the mountains

5. When a day in the ER looks like this....taking care of 6 patients at once in a more critical state, admitting at least 1, transporting another patient to another hospital, one patient just came in who is in a full code, the ER doc shouts, "Are we running an ER today, or are we running an ER?!" He is meanwhile flying through charts writing new orders....the other nurses are buzzing around me as fast as I'm buzzing from patient to chart, to phone call, to patient, to doctor, to another nurse, to patient, to chart. I don't think about what I'm saying. Families' of patients are asking me questions and the answers just come...no forethought....thank goodness for an education that prepared me....I really do thrive off of this flow.

6. When Jenni and I are in one of our deep conversations, she is one of my dearest friends who I have known long enough that we can totally predict each others reactions almost perfectly. We have an almost complete understanding of each other. How this happens? I don't know. But I do remember the day I met Jenni....she was at the little convenient store in the cannon center buying chapstick. I knew the moment I saw her we would be great friends. That was 5 years ago. Weird.

7. When I was in college....a good lecture, my mind being blown

8. When I watched 'Inception'...my mind was blown by that too

9. When I am at the temple

10. When I write!

Just a few...

And why human relationships ebb and flow, I don't think some things will ever be figured out:).