And we were all introduced to the greatest discovery....Lindt chili dark chocolate. How does it work? Well, it starts out dark and chocolately....once the chocolate is all but dissolved in your mouth there is a wowza! Chili kickback! Mmmm it's tasty.
I had a really great experience today....my mind has been buzzing around about some things. Worries, fears. I just can't seem to feel at peace about certain things. Last night I had a good cry and felt prompted I should ask one of my dear friends for a priesthood blessing. I always feel a little sheepish asking for blessings. In some ways, it is a little pride swallowing to ask for a blessing because I know I'm in a situation where I really can't do it on my own. And I am Miss Independent. I love doing things on my own. But nonetheless I felt I should ask for one.
My friend is amazing....he gave me an amazing blessing that I would be calm, in a way that I could feel the Spirit. Today at work I just felt that no matter what went wrong at the hospital, nothing could shake me. I felt so much patience and love for my patients.....even the frequent flyers that sometimes drive me NUTS.
I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I think how grateful I am that I have the knowledge I do. I have become SO much more grateful for what I know since I have started working in the hospital. Sometimes a day in the ER can be seem like all hell has converged on one place....one patient has tried to commit suicide, another is wanting to get high off of drugs, another is getting a medical clearance before going to jail, another patient has just overdosed for the 5th time that month, another patient has just been physically abused, another is suffering from severe depression. Day after day of this can get a little overwhelming. I've had days where I have thought, there is absolutely no hope for the world. The addictions in this world are so powerful and so binding, to that person there seems no way out. Many people are in such a vicious cycle of living day after day being chained by these addictions....it is no life at all. Satan is smart, the temptations are so subtle, but soon they become a swift, slippery slope and the return to the straight and narrow is so difficult. I've been angry some shifts....at Satan for his temptations, at God for allowing human suffering, at patients and people for being so stupid. But as I've worked through trying to understand what the point to all of it is, I keep coming back to how grateful I am to know the gospel and how much I wish many of my patients could understand what I do. Now more than ever, I am gaining a more sure testimony that Christ lives and that He does understand the suffering of His children, and that no matter how bleak it seems, there is always hope to change through the atonement. I know I can't help these people with the short time I have every day with them to change their lives completely, but I can at least try to be Christ-like and show little kindnesses....and if everyone who had the knowledge of the gospel did that, that encountered others that are struggling...who is to say it wouldn't be huge in helping them change!
Sometimes in my own life, I have moments where I get so scared and paralyzed by fear that even though things are really good in life right now....who is to say tomorrow my life won't drastically change?! I worry sometimes about something happening to my family or that I will lose my job or I won't have enough money to live or the good in my life will completely disappear. But then I feel this amazing power in knowing that there will NEVER be a time in my life where all is irreversibly lost. I will never lose my family because we are sealed in the temple together to have each other forever. I may be poor and not have much but the Lord will take care of me. The sun will always come up every day. The seasons will always change and be beautiful. Sunday and church will come EVERY week. And I always have my Book of Mormon and my testimony. These are things that can never be taken from me. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for these blessings. I am so thankful that my Savior knows me personally and loves me as His daughter.
And another great experience today.....
I got a little case of food poisoning overnight....I've been drinking the pepto since 4am this morning. My stomach has been cramping sooo bad. But I'm actually really grateful for the experience because it helps me remember and realize the pain my patients are in....I'm pretty sure I was much swifter at dishing out the pain medications today to my peeps with abdominal pain:).
And did you know? Pepto shows up on a CT scan. Who would've thunk?!
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