Owen William Ostebo

After what seemed the longest month of contractions and being uncomfortable and using 15 pillows to sleep at night, Owen William Ostebo finally made his grand debut January 29th, 2014.  I woke up the morning of the 29th feeling contractions that were stronger than normal. I told Mark before he went to work to make sure he kept his phone on him. I had a doctor's appointment at 9am, and by that time contractions were getting even stronger and closer together. Mark drove me to my appointment and the OB stripped my membranes. From almost the minute we left the office, contractions were five minutes apart. We made it home and started packing our bags. We left for the hospital an hour later. At the hospital, it took about six hours to dilate to 10cm. Then I pushed for five hours before the OB came and used forceps to deliver Owen. I got an epidural after about an hour of being at the hospital. Can't say it was my favorite, but it was the lesser of the two evils. And seriously, I have a whole new level of appreciation for moms who go natural. Not my cup of tea that's for sure. My epidural wore off somewhat on my left side, and man, contractions are not very nice. 

But at 11:18pm, we got to hear that first little cry that just melted our hearts. I was actually a little afraid to see him at first. I've heard people say that they experience so much love for their child upon first seeing them. And while I sincerely hoped that would be true for me, part of me just didn't know because I hadn't gone through that experience. If there's one thing I keep learning, it is that the saying 'the night is darkest before the dawn' is so true and usually when I feel my faith tested the most. Pregnancy hasn't been a time of darkness per say, but a time of uncertainty for me. And I felt the most uncertain about being a mom at the very end. I just didn't know how I would feel, and how our lives would change. 

I was in a lot of pain right after delivery and didn't want to meet Owen for the first time in that state. I waited til he was cleaned up, and I was given some pain medication. 

Mark brought Owen over to me, and upon first seeing his little face, I just couldn't believe it! He was the most precious little person I'd ever laid eyes on. It was so surreal. And truly, in just a few moments time, those feelings of uncertainty washed away, and I was left with nothing but the most pure and free flowing love for my little boy. I loved the feeling of his skin on mine. I just couldn't grasp that this was the child that had been inside me for those nine months, and all of a sudden here he was. I took in every detail of his face, and grasped his little hands and toes. Actually, the first thing Mark told me about him, being that he saw him first, was how big his hands and feet were! He said it was the first thing he noticed! Every time I looked at his face I felt like crying, and a lot of times I did cry. I was so overwhelmed with love, and this sudden desire to protect him and give him the best life I could. Mark and I talked about how Heavenly Father must feel for us.

Mark was so amazing during this whole experience. He was right by my side the entire time and gave me such wonderful, constant support. I kept telling him I could not have done it without him. It was a team effort. And it is now one of my favorite memories to remember him seeing and meeting Owen for the first time. We both were feeling so much love for him in that moment. 

Having Owen has definitely changed my relationship with Heavenly Father as I understand a little better how He must feel for all of us. I think of Owen being raised in this world we live in and knowing he'll have his own experiences, good and bad. And then I think how Heavenly Father must feel letting us go to earth to experience mortality. He truly loves us. This experience has given me such a greater understanding of the plan of salvation. 

We gave Owen his middle name after my mom's dad, William Fox, so Owen would always remember his great grandpa, a most kind, loving, wonderful man. My grandpa was also the man that sealed us on our wedding day. 

Getting ourselves packed up to head to the hospital

Having contractions at the check in desk!

Let's get this show on the road! 

Sweet baby Owen! 

Check out those hands!!

Weighing in at a whopping 8 lb 6 oz

Father and son

Seeing Owen for the first time

Poor guy was attacked by forceps 

Owen has this trick where he sticks one leg straight out almost every time he gets his diaper changed. 

Meeting Uncle Joe

Meeting the Calls

Either he doesn't want to go home, or he hates the winter suit

Confessions of a First Time Mama

I've heard over and over that nothing can prepare you for being a parent. I don't know what the other side looks like yet, but I already feel that to be true. 

I've pictured in my mind during the day and even in my dreams at night what it will be like to meet Baby Ostebo for the first time. I try to imagine what I'll feel, the pain from delivery, the relief of having a baby, the sudden realization that he is mine to keep. 

My biggest hopes are to feel an instant love for him, and desire to nurture and protect and give of myself unthinkingly to him. I hope I can help him to experience and learn and grow as much as possible while he is in our home. I hope that he knows he is loved by his family, and I hope I can help instill in him a love for the Savior. 

This last little while, I've felt the time of being pregnant swiftly coming to an end. How did it come so fast? It seemed such a far off event, and now here I am on the brink of meeting my baby and becoming a mom. As comes with any change and uncertainty, I'm simultaneously mourning the way of life and freedom I'm leaving behind, and also feeling ready to embrace the new challenges and joys that are to come. 

And I'm trying hard to push the fears and anxieties that sometimes creep up in the corners of my mind, and replace them with faith and hope. 

I feel overwhelmed at the prospect of some of the burdens that'll be placed on my body. I'm scared of failing at balancing new responsibilities. The thought of not sleeping a full 8 hours....anybody knows I'm a bear when I don't sleep! I'm afraid sometimes of my own imperfections and making mistakes. 

I hope most of all that my baby will be patient with me as we both learn how to do this together. 

I feel that I can take a lot of comfort in knowing that I am doing what Heavenly Father has designed for me to do. He will not leave me to be alone. He will be with me through it. After all, it is His precious child that He is entrusting me with. 

Baby Shower!

I have some of the greatest friends and family! This month has been a month of baby celebration! I've felt so loved and so amazed by how many people care about our new little family. It's humbling. We have been the recipients of so many prayers on our behalf. We have felt so supported, it's truly been incredible. 

I met up with a few of my good friends from college right before Christmas for lunch, Jenni Guynn, Aubri Root, Lisa Hammon, and Jenny Decker. They all surprised me and had brought a few baby gifts! It was the sweetest! On top of it just being really fun that we could get together for a couple of hours!

I had two baby showers the beginning of January to celebrate Baby Ostebo's arrival. A few of my friends from the ER, Amy Hawkins, Amy Fail, and Millie Harper, threw me, and another nurse that's pregnant, a shower. A bunch of us nurses and their kids all went to lunch at the Pizza Pie Cafe. We enjoyed each other's company and they spoiled us rotten with gifts. I can't wait to use what I got! It was so fun! 

Then two of my friends from nursing school, Sarah Tranter and Andrea Gardner, threw me a shower for friends and family. It was such a blast! They had decorated Andrea's house so cute and had created a delicious meal of soup bread bowls and salad. And lots of delicious treats. Then we played the cutest game. Sarah had asked Mark and I a bunch of questions beforehand. Everybody had to guess who gave the answer to a question, either Mark or I. Everybody then either put on their 'mustache' or their 'lips', depending on their answer. We shared a lot of good laughs, as a bunch of my friends who are now seasoned moms shared their stories from the front lines of battle:). My mom and I afterwards talked for a bit and just said how uplifted and blessed we felt to be with such great people that night. 

Thanksgiving and the Christmas Season

This Thanksgiving we went up to my parents' house for the week. We had such a great time! Papa and Munner were also visiting from Maryland and we greatly enjoyed our time with them...Mark especially loved getting in some serious sports watching with Papa. And I loved cooking and chatting with Mom and Munner. Other festivities included a turkey bowl that Luke organized. As a result, Papa kept calling Luke 'The Commissioner'. We played a few competitive rounds of ticket to ride, and we also made a hilarious video to send to Brad in Ghana for Christmas. I caught one picture (bad quality) of Papa and Mark going to town on our car windows. It is one thing that I guess you could say was a sign that Mark was 'the one'...he'd clean our car windows when we'd go out on a date. Papa would always clean Munner's car windows when they were dating. There is nothing better than just sharing the joy of being together as a family. 

Provo had a HUGE snowstorm, and its turned our neighborhood into a winter wonderland. We have our home decorated and cozy, warm to greet the holidays! And Mark faithfully keeps our driveway cleared.